so i am drinking whiskey and watching home alone 2 by myself. it turns out moving to a foreign country isn't all that different after all.
And then I have a slight inkling that I went up to the bar and tried to order the bartender.
the teacher just ate a hash brownie and passed out on the bus best field trip 2010'
any interest in drunk sledding later? if not, any interest in driving me to the hospital later?
since you saved your number in my phone as "the hot chick you met last Friday" I don't know who you are either
Well it involved jumping two nine foot fences. But when you mix alcohol and persistence you can't lose.
I swear they were about to hook up!!
I know because I was in the tub taking an imaginary silent bath. They stopped cuz I gagged on my shot.
Someday. I cant very well invite myself to his dorm room. And I'm 28. The excuses to be drunk and running into him at uconn are rather slim. Although I'm working on it.
So mom called me from the hospital laughing her ass off. Apparently my sister is allergic to cocaine...
so it took us like 45 minutes to get into the party.... then when we wanted to leave we were blocked and forced to stay.
....you got kicked INTO a party??
Ran out of eye drops right after putting them in one eye. Half baked at work.
I think the best course of action at this point is to cut his balls off to get him to stop reproducing
How do you say, "I love you, but i prefer sex with someone else." in a good way? Ponder that over a jack and coke and get back to me.
Apparently I was so drunk last night I got stuck in the revolving door at the hotel. They have suveliance vidoes of it.
Babe, I'm gunna be straight with you. When you act like a dick it makes me regret not fucking my manager last week.
Randomize
