afterwards we were spooning and he said he wished he was a kangaroo so he cold put me in his pouch and keep me forever. I left as soon as he was asleep.
I shagged another guy with one ball last night. Are there really that many dudes with one nut in la or am I just a magnet for prostetic testes?
I'm drunk in class and I'm pretty sure the bible freak behind me is saying a prayer for me
Turns out they use me as an example of What Not To Do at freshman orientation. My little brother told me.
i think i had to give the cab driver my id to get home last night because i couldnt talk.
Nobody has ever asked me for my honest opinion on whether they needed anal bleaching before
wine lets you be on time to class apparently
This is a dangerous realization
I wanna introduce you to my balls, Thunder and Lightning.
We realized tonight that we have to get advice about guys from you because you're our only straight male friend that neither of us has slept with.
Just witnessed a fat waitress doing whipits in the back of a waffle house.. my life seems a little brighter..
Happy Birthday. May your liver respect you, fat bitches neglect you, hangovers reject you, and AA accept you.
Saying you need a hooker then asking me to have sex is NOT the way to get laid. Booty call 101.
If you hear death cries, thats me singing. Just let me be.
He called me dainty, then fucked me like the Viking God he is.
Your penis is the destroyer of worlds.
Randomize
