Well that's not true. She had two social skills. She kept them in her bra
Just witnessed a walk of shame by a guy in a half gorilla suit. It's going to be a good day.
Waldo just asked us for directions. Even he doesn't know where he is.
Im making the walk of shame with half a box of pizza, its like when youre little and you get a goodie bag leaving the party
My last google search last night was 'vodka swimming pool'.
he was fingering me, then looked down and said "i like your socks"
I could get a dump truck for 1000. Think of the possibilities.
In case you come back to the room and i'm not here, yes there's a cup filled with gravy in the microwave. Just take it out if you need to heat something.
This morning I learned I traded my sunglasses for a Big Lebowski sticker at the football game.
If I come back tomorrow to find a certain football player tied up and locked in your closet, shit's gonna get real.
I'll set him free tomorrow morning ;)
Her ass is the reason I still believe in a higher power
I need to reevaluate. My boss gave me drug money. I overslept on my couch. And I had my student teacher go to McDonald's and get an egg mcmuffin for me.
My VP dropped me off at the Strip Club in Houston. Just said "I was never here".
too bad I'd hit a car before I'd hit a bush.
Are we talking about jumping from windows or your willingness to fuck a car instead of a woman?
he broke off the kiss to ask "can I grab your boob?" like props for asking for clear and concise consent but there HAS to be a sexier way to do it
Randomize
