we better have passed that bar exam - i dont want to have to drink like this again
She said her tits were too big, and he slapped her. He said that Jesus didn't appreciate bitches that fish for compliments
come in to starbucks and ill make you a 4loko latte before theyre banned
If it was designed to hold water, it was designer to hold wine
nah we got kicked outta the bar after the bouncer saw us putting straws up Chelsea's nose to make her look like a walrus after she fell asleep at the table
I already banned bobbing for apples. While drunk that's just drowning near fruit.
we found you in the kitchen at five am trying to make a vodka omelette. you said you didn't want to live in a world where your two favourite things couldn't be together.
Has anyone ever told you you're majestic like a sea turtle when you fuck?
And your cock privileges have been revoked.
I just sit in the cubicle for 8 hours and do keagles.
It's total crap. On a side note I watched a porn of 4 guys wrestling in chocolate then messing around with each other. It was like a dream come true
Should I take my grandma to a keg tomorrow or not? Serious question
Inebriation Olympics: Team Drunk vs Team Stoned. This weekend. It's on.
That was my first party and they were so suprised that this little freshman girl was a FUCKING BEER PONG QUEEN.
We told him to puke in the Denny's parking lot or we wouldn't be his friend anymore. So he did. He wasn't even drunk.
Last time I went to flagstaff I threw up in my beard. I would very much like to recreate that moment.
DO IT!
Randomize
