I need to find out who his wife is so I can fuck her before he gets to mine.
Great, now justin bieber is gonna sing a song about chile
I took my pants off in the cab and tried to bite his ear. Not going oout for awhile
mom came into my room and asked to borrow some condoms. We have gotten to the point where it's not awkward anymore.
I have to overdose on valtrex I had a rough weekend.
Hey. Be honored that I consider you the genital expert. I know alot of candidates for the position.
oh wow I have been there. Hell one time Matt and I woke up naked with pizza rolls in the bed.
She asked if I could convince him so shave that shit off his face so he'll have a snowball's chance in hell of getting laid.
This chic sharing the cab with me just started givin me head. I'll be an extra 5 minutes.
Look. When I let you cum on my tits don't fuck it all up by going "SKEET SKEET SKEET" it just pisses me off.
I think Jabba the Hut is dying in the stall next to me.
I'm not well. Although it could be worse.
My cousin is so hungover she quit her job.
I texted her that I burned my tongue drinking coffee so it hurt to talk or kiss... How many points do I get for doing her without talking or making out first?
This Cougar is looking at me like I’m a piece of meat and buying me top shelf cocktails
I’m getting a fear boner thinking about what she might do to me
You went after him with a sword while screaming “FAJITAS!”. And Todd was dressed as a Goth for some reason
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