yeah it's now facebook official. i can no longer pretend shes my girl on the side
i don't care who i fucked last night, until im at 43plus im not considering myself slutty
all i know is that they all tuched my pee cup last night.
i just found a bag of weed behind my capital one card. i guess that's what's in my wallet.
I tried exercising today. I ended up masturbating to the Wii fit trainer.
I am going to be fat forever.
I just realized my life is a timeline of drunken injuries.
Yea there's blood all over the porch but we wont have to buy alcohol for the rest of the week
Where are you?! I require drunk, males and possibly crying. Vomiting is optional and/or optimal as is karaoke.
This is going to be the time I got green body paint on Chris' ceiling all over again...
I really want to fuck that guy in the full wind breaker suit
My head feels like Jesus is projectile vomiting hammers on it
I have a story for you. It involves waffles and getting naked with the local weatherman.
yeah it's a weird friendship. we pretend that we're automatic besties but i know we both know i slept with her boyfriend
Come on in. I'm butt naked, in the kitchen, eating ice pops
they gave me money. the money smells like weed. also they gave me weed
Randomize
