What you up to?
Having coffee. Getting eyefucked. Eyefucking.
Full throttle
Some guys are relationship guys. Not our niche.
my cup is half full, half full of rum.
you know it's bad when you need sunglasses to open the refrigerator
Just drive me around campus, I will be able to smell their innocence.
All I heard was "I swear it'll be funny" and then we were in jail.
In case you were wondering...putting everclear into a humidifier DOES get you really really drunk.
What's the appropriate way to phrase "If you ever leave your wife give me a call. But we can still have sex periodically until then."??
We 6 way cheers-ed with French fries last night, hammered, in the booth.
Just because the energy drink is shaped like a grenade doesnt make it cool to throw it and yell "BOOM" and break my flatscreen, asshole
I feel bad cuz I was his ride home, but I didn't know I was going to have a religious experience with a guy in a cookie monster t-shirt. You can't plan for that shit.
On a scale of 1 to 10 how concerned should I be
Basically one minute I'm sucking on her nipples and then 45 mins later we're at work and she's my boss.
I was thrusting to the beat of Felix Navidad..
i just got carded for condoms. wtf.....this is new. isnt safe sex a good thing?
ps why does my dog smell like popcorn and a dryer sheet..?
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