remind me tomorrow that nothing happen between me and the guy who's shirt i'm wearing
I'm watching Intervention to get pumped up for tonight
I'm done. I'm tired and there's a topless pic of me floating around the nation's largest 3G network.
the problem with open bar is i never know what to get
did you really just start a sentence with "the problem with open bar is..."
I don't think blacking out in class is a good idea. But I'm game
We were making condiment sandwiches, then her husband kept trying to get me to sleep with her. I hate being the only lesbian at the party.
I'm still high with raccoon eyeliner eyes and chocolate all over my face and chest, clutching a mug of wine. Happy graduation.
That BJ in the bathroom was definitely worth the $20 cover.
I don't remember... but I heard a cop threatened to pepper spay my dick
I remember caressing his hands asking him if he moisturized, then i proceeded to put his hands on my face
My kid just put flowers in my hair to make me pretty, then showed my boobs to an entire playground. He's either the best wingman or the worst.
May the power of my ass compel you!!
We probably shouldn't have humped each other in a stairwell for an hour. that was probably my bad
First morning at school this semester and I threw up in a bush during my walk of shame.
I left you a really long drunk voicemail and I remember something about a bat
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