Excuse me do you have gonnorhea?
chick im bringing home just asked our cab driver if she could do a line off his turban. i think im in love - or trouble.
Even though I wasn't drunk last night, I peed in the sink just so I could keep my record going
Its ok we found him,,, He is in the bathroom trying to write his life story on a roll of toilet paper.
Its not monday til someone throws up in the hallway
Cops said there's a crazy dude with a mask in my neighborhood. Don't get stabbed.
If he was naked that was me.
he referred to his penis as the bashful dwarf from snow white
how is telling me how long you drunkenly fucked someone supposed to make me miss you?
Skip school. Seven hour blow job Plus Disney movies. Day of champions
Seriously how many times do I have to sleep with him before he stops calling me dude
I'm right down the road from AJ's old house and I'm getting mixed feelings. My vagina is remembering good dick. But the rest of me is remembering horrible times.
It's like the drive of shame on fucking Christmas. Happy birthday Jesus
HE LEFT ME THE DAY AFTER I LET HIM PEE ON ME. If you date him after that, I'll leave the fucking PLANET.
Ok, not to minimize the significance of that beautiful anecdote from your childhood, but here's a video of my penis.
Just calling to thank you for not dying. I love you.
Randomize
