That adds atleast one bjs worth of awkward sexual tension between us.
you probably should not have drank the wine that everyone spits out. and the sad part, that was not even your low point last night
I didn't wanna be that girl that took a shit in the ocean..
Throwing up while listening to pandora radio. Don't tell me my life doesn't have theme music.
You know, be my cock's hype man.
At the party. I feel like I just walked into a lifesize blunt.
Please acknowledge the sock on the door. If not it will be rammed up your ass.
I feel I must have sex with him first to fully decide where my vagina belongs.
I just got stoned alone and repierced my nose. don't ever tell me I'm unaccomplished
I just got stoned by myself and am eating cookies so I'm right there with you
He says I vaguely mumbled happy New year, kissed him, threw up and then went back to sleep.
Her weave came out on the dance floor. She was twerking and shaking one minute and her hair flew across the dance floor the next. Great way to be introduced to the family
Come eat Chinese buffet and watch us trip on acid. It'll be fun.
You know its a good morning when you wake up with blonde hair extensions in your pocket. . .
Did anyone see us fucking last night on the giant turtle outside downtown Disney?
In any case. I fucked a married couple recently. Know what a straight person would've done there? Been super weirded out by 1/3 of the genitals there, that's what.
Randomize
