there were no ball for pong so he bought cat toys..... they had bells in them
we could easily be the first people to smoke 3 bowls and pound a Four Loco before goin on a tour of the Tillamook cheese factory
So I'm pretty sure I fucked the dept of homeland security guy on my kitchen table. No recollection of it, but there are signs.
Just a heads up, the coffee pot is filled with Jager.
I'll still trying to understand the context of your "punch her with my cock" comment.
I've wasted nicer days than this hungover and dry heaving in bed.
On a scale of 1 to 3, with 1 being the smallest and 3 being the largest, what size nipple pasty do you think I am?
PLAN B IS EXPENSIVE ON A $50 A WEEK BUDGET.
I need rollerblades now
Rollerblades pick up bitches
Yes sir I did. I'll be there with a guest. And no, my date won't be an escort.
Well if that changes tell the escort to bring cocaine.
He threw a twenty at the stripper and asked for change
well did he get it
....yes
I know you are gonna wanna ask a lot of questions but when we are home I need to cover your face with deli meat and photograph it
looked up people from my old yearbooks. 3 ex boyfriends are gay. im getting drunk now.
You wanna see what happens when frozen corn meets an unhappy Andrew's face?
If those panties could talk.
"Once upon a time, Jenny got chlamydia from a magician. The end."
Randomize
