Just applied online. Cant stop hiccupping. May be drunk. Hope they liked my smiley faces.
Things to remember: Girls don't appreciate it when you yell "Beast Mode!" when switching to doggy style.
You drank the expired grape juice because you were convinced it had fermented into wine...you have a problem.
well i did feel guilty about it. until i saw how hot the guy was the next day. now, nothing but pride.
this episode of spongebob makes me wish crabby patties were real
god is playing jersey shore on new years on purpose. he wants me to play drinking games and die. i wish he knew how serious this is.
i got excepted to unl lol
You mean "accepted".
just threw up in the bus full of other international students just outside of boulder, just keeping the aussie reputation alive
You are two creepy Justin Bieber quotes away from me not talking to you for the rest of the day
If I had a pelvic thrust emoticon, I would use it
bring the dog... nobody goes to jail with a dog.
Just considered playing a drinking game with powerade with my sister so she would get some fluids in her. I do so well with sick people.
You're gonna be sprawled out basking in the sun working on your tan like a ridiculously hot iguana, and I'm gonna be here bundled up in about 72 layers just so I don't freeze my dick off looking like the Michelin man's gay cousin
i apologize, I may have called you an iguana
Mistakes were made
Not only did I get the promotion, but last night after sex he took me outside and let me hold it for him while he peed in the snow. I made a heart. This week is going amazing
Remind me to NEVER AGAIN mix beer with tequila with beer with whiskey with vodka with rum with vodka.
I almost accidentally threw him out a window during sex last night.
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