I think I just got seasick
you're not on a boat
he has a waterbed.
I was so high i started crying when i saw how much puppychow was there.
turn left when you see the girl thats puking on the sidewalk. she hasnt been moving much so she makes a good street marker
just saw 2 fat kids fight for the last slice of pizza. Litteraly fight. God Bless America
craigslist free llama. are you in or are you in?
Aaaaand that would be the most of my hand I've ever fit into a vagina before.
new plan: i think the keg will fit in my purse.
I'm stoned entirely off resin. Licking my blankets. Merry Christmas. Jesus died for our sins. Yay Jesus. I love you.
My attempts to make you laugh have failed exceedingly. Naked snap chats it is
Hungover in church. I can feel stained glass Jesus judging me.
Apparently she "missed me" and the only logical solution was to fuck my brother.
I broke another vibrator the other day. Abstinence is not for me.
Just so you know sleeping with you is like skydiving commando in a flightsuit made of kittens
That's the most romantic thing I've ever heard
I’m doing some soul searching to figure out how much of a slut I’m going to be the rest of the summer.
Oh my fucking god!! There is a barefoot white guy with a fucking ninja sword in the middle of the street next to the pride gas station swinging his sword at peoples cars!! He almost got me. 3 people swerved off the road and stopped. I told a cop.
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