Who tried to make mustard cubes with the ice cube tray?
I would pay so much money for a video of you fucking a sheep
I just found out why they dont make table-dance tables out of glass.
my friend asked What a UTI was in front of everyone, letts just say his girlfriend was a lil pissed
I'm walking down the halls of our hotel and listening for sex noises and knocking when I do.
I turned down free cocaine. I both respect and regret and that decision.
I just got a flashback from Saturday night of you helping me wash my feet in the bar's bathroom.
We are not in the same countries and I heard about your hook up last night BEFORE you.
I just tried to text you by typing "whoa" into my contacts.
He's carved the words "SLAM STATION" into his headboard...
Sober me admires drunk me's enthusiasm, but there is no way I'm going to make it out there today.
Lol drunk you is so full ideas and happy. Sober you is full of grumpy reality.
If you really loved me, you'd support my weed habit.
As the person who squeezed you out of my vagina, the answer is no.
The multiple male orgasm is a real thing. I've seen it. I've caused it. I called him a unicorn.
also i don't know what you guys ate last night but he broke the toilet
I didn’t want a minivan, but I have to admit it’s made it a lot easier to hook up with the dilfs at soccer tournaments
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