My ass is singing 4 different tunes right about now... Taco Bell was a bad idea!
I just added her as a friend on Facebook. I met her 5 minutes ago and there are already more than 50 pics of me uploaded... from other nights.
just saw the guy i hooked up with last nights' face on a billboard. win.
vodka bottle broke. scooping it out of the plastic tub with a shot glass into a sprite bottle using a ziplock bag as a funnel and straining the glass out with paper towels. good thursday night?
you duct taped a twenty to your thigh just in case and passed out.
Ha, I bet. You tipped the waitress like 10 bucks for a glass of water.
And don't try to lose a condom in me tonight. My vagina is not a storage compartment where you can just leave something and try and use it again later in the week.
Do you know how much wine is in a box of wine? Not so much an amount, but whether it will kill me if I drink the entire box this xmas
Eating power bars and masterbating... That's kinda my life right now. Is this what having a boyfriend means?
Maybe not Elvis quality pharmaceuticals...But some good stuff
I pretended to be blind and he pretended to be my assistant and long story short, we had to buy that bra and panty set, and now we're both banned from Victoria's Secret AND I have a cum stained demi cup.
We are horrible
Yeah but we're also awesome
So I don't think the seahorse breeding thing is gonna work.
That was random, even for you Mom.
Well, thanks for not letting me sleep with anyone, but no thanks for telling everyone I have the clap.
Ahhh, beer. My second favorite breakfast drink.
Randomize