I GPSed you we're an hour and 14min away from each other
and it's going to stay that way
I got my half for the rent already.I called the cops on the drug dealer neighbor and got a 500 bucks as a reward
I had a dream last night, there was a gumball machine that was filled with Oxycontin. I would try to get some but got vitamins instead. I was so frustrated!! woke up angry.
just wondering who decided to put a cup of throw up in my fridge
I am kinda proud of you, its like seeing my slutty baby take its first step
Look. You've gotta stop making this about you, and make it about my vagina.
The number of times I've puked in the Walgreens bathroom is becoming way too many for my pride.
I just saw a commercial for God of War and heard the nickname he gave my vagina.
I'm beginning to worry that I seem to get along best with people when I'm naked with them.
Who's the captain of your team? Captain Morgan as usual?
And me
All I need is a morbidly obese man masturbating at the other end of the car and I'll complete the CTA Horror Trifecta.
I felt like I was having sex with Joffrey from Game of Thrones. Needless to say how bad it was
I'm slacking. We've been hooking up for months and I have yet to bang him while he's wearing the clown mask.
Sitting in the car eating a bagel. Watching a guy do tai chi in the parking lot. My morning is fabulous
Well the grass always *looks* greener on the other side but sometimes that’s bc there’s a sewage runoff...
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