2:45a: Any chance you got 3000 bucks on you?
It was amazing what she could do with her one good arm.
new low: my hungover self just mistook bacon grease for mashed potatoes. worst. mistake. ever.
he literaly had a hockey helmet on and was swan diving off the couch onto the coffee table.
figured after she passed out and i threw up in her bed, morning sex would be pushing it.
Do you count doing $200 of coke off his dick until 6am as a successful rekindling of our relationship or...
I didn't realize how trashy of a night we had.
Welllll, you did eat a cherry out of my pussy. So I think that classes it up a little.
Just got road head. In broad daylight. On the interstate. During rush hour. Pushing the envelope one public bj at a time.
My one regret (beside the inevitable shit storm that followed) is that now I can't fuck his cute friend.
Then he said,"I love you like a sister I like to have sex with."
Uhmm, it's called hentai.
I DON'T CARE WHAT IT'S CALLED I DON'T WANT TO SEE IT ON MY WORK COMPUTER
OH MY GOD REMEMBER ALL THAT I LOVE NEW YORK I DVRED BECAUSE I JUST DID
I'm still questioning who dropped me off last night. So successful wedding?
You asked me if I ever met a talking rock and when I said no, you looked me dead in the eye and said today was my lucky day then you crawled into a ball and started talking...that high.
Learned two new lessons today: 1) Do not identify pills found in one's car by taking them to see what happens, especially while at work, and 2) There is no logical reason to keep ambien in one's vehicle...
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