I may have told her we're dating for a handjob, Fake tits are overrated.
yeah i was sneaking up to her room and on the way i saw a picture of her and left
one day john is going to snap and they are going to make a new show called "john and chainsaw minus 9"
billy ray cyrus is narrating a show on the history channel. my iq cant decide whether to go up or down.
WHY DOES GOD HATE MY DICK
He just sent me a picture of me icing a cake with a butcher knife topless.
I inspected his penis with a mini flashlight to check for visible stds...he was clean
Whenever we go out my brain flips on autopilot, straight to blackout.
So, left this guys house wearing a #1 Grandpa shirt and I think this is the best sex score I've ever had.
The landlord wasn't even off the porch yet and she was packing a bowl, I can't imagine a better best friend
She wasn't one for labels or anything serious really but while she was riding me she yelled marry me. It's like she fucked her self into commitment lmao she realy is a keeper bro
"my nose is broken but I'm beer pong champ so it evens out really"
I'm trying to arrange "Flawless" to come on as soon as I get up to leave the room after my thesis defense. Bow down bitches indeed.
The kid with the ed hardy shirt put a bunch of random shit in the washer and turned it on. example: a hanger, the movie Chocolate with Johnny Depp, and your mom's cat
Try sleeping with him.
Why is it that all my gay friends have that solution...
Cuz you will have an answer or have sex.
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