i threw up in a trash can last night at kellys irish times. but in a trash can because i'm a lady
you came back at 4am in a suit jacket and a half eaten burrito...
i would hope so, cause i don't think 'i drove off the road because i was getting some head' is covered in insurance
I miss your penis. And I totally say this as a friend. I just miss it because it's great. You should be very proud of it.
well considering we left the bathroom with the mirror off the wall, a bloody nose, and clothes all messed up they assume im just a coke whore now..
No longer allowed at circus circus apparently fuvking in the elevator is frowned upon.
There is nothing more embarrassing than your birth control alarm going off while in a meeting with your boss and they tell you to take it.
She kept pulling joints out of her bra and asking strangers for birthday hugs.
From now on when a guy sends me a dick picture I'm going to send them a picture of some other dudes dick.
THERE IS AN ENORMOUS FAT WOMAN EYEING MY FLIGHT'S GATE LIKE IT WOULD BE DELICIOUS TO EAT.
I am drunk please bring Taco Bell and sex
Never mind I found pizza just bring sex
I'm a male taking pregnancy tests with every girl at the party. i have no regrets
I puked into my skirt and then had to carry it to the bathroom and dump it out, Lmfao and it was like 2pm
Please explain the hospital band on my wrist.
It's officially "let him eat me out in a sundress with no panties" season. Needless to say the first date was a success.
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