Is it morally objectionable to repay my debt to society with drug money?
dipping my christmas cookies in kaluha. santa would be proud.
It was only 12:11 and I needed to make a Pepto Latte and call it a night, I don't remember that being part of my new years resolution.
I think I was using my hair to catch my vomit last night.
You were.
No, I've only ever seen his brother's dick. So when I have lucid sex dreams, I just do a little cut and paste in my mind and stick his bro's package onto him.
Oh my God, that is a gorgeous man. And I wasn't even gay until five minutes ago.
That birthday blow job you ordered came in the mail today. I suggest you hurry home.
I did my walk of shame through a safeway at 8am to get YOUR hangover bagels. You're welcome asshole
You puked on the bar then proceeded to walk out. I told the bartender some girl walked up, puked and left and he gave me a free drink. Hope you got home safe.
Just licked cheese from my hot pocket off my phone. I spilled because I was eating a Popsicle at the same time. Send an adult please
I think I'm destined to be the stoner version of one of those successful but emotionally unavailable characters Sandra Bullock always plays in movies
We had to push you home in an abandoned shopping trolley. You thought you were in a pirate boat and kept yelling "AVAST, ME HEARTIES".
I like it here so far, only people are a lot less accepting of my terrible decisions and it's cramping my style
She's so nice... She deserves all the dicks.
you tried to strip tease your way into canada but got arrested instead. don't worry, your mom doesn't know.
Randomize
