the recession has oofficially hit my standards.
I just wanna buy a tempur-pedic so i can drink in bed and not spill
Just look for the house with the beer knights.
Why were you having sex on top of my left over pizza in the kitchen?
STOP CALLING ME LADY CHLAMYDIA
Staying in I think. Boyfriend has domesticated me. I'm making eggs naked right now. Also really high.
I say go for the trifecta and maybe you'll get a medal or something. Or a baby. That's like the same thing right?
I want you to read this conversation tomorrow and be proud of the fact that you taught me how to decipher any drunk message. Good job.
Cassie is wearing a baseball cap. This rebound is going nowhere
How drunk do you guys plan on getting?
We wrote our addresses on our arms for the cab driver, what do you think?
I shit you not. I was sitting on Brian's balcony...still drunk from the night before, and a hummingbird flew onto the patio, stared me right in the face and flew away. I feel like it was God's way of telling me, "Stop drinking."
I fucked him on my yoga mat. Then we wake and baked and ate granola. So yes, you could say I found my center.
Finals week game: One shot for every psychological trauma I've been through that I have to explain in detail. Man I hate my major sometimes.
There's hope in those eyes, for a better tomorrow or more cocaine, we may never know, but there's hope.
I have standards. Maybe not when it comes to men.. but definitely when it comes to sex
Randomize
