We woke up next to each other with a mutual look of disgust, and then he left. I knew I should have gone for the younger brother.
So I just walked into the bathroom, and there was this kid, talking to his mom, while taking a shit. I flushed the toilet next to him and heard him say into the phone, "No, I'm not. I'm in my dorm."
shes perfect for him. shes never seen a penis so she has nothing to compare his to.
He tried to say the picture wasn't him. Like I'd forget his curved boner.
This is the time you want your cat to have telepathy with you. To know if the guy downstairs left.
i just added no after every hockey player in my phone..
I just feel like a girl who's never eaten a pb&j probably doesn't swallow
NOLA update. Went to Corey Smith at the house of blues last night. Drank PBR and took lots of shots of Jack. Too drunk, cabbed it to the hotel and fell asleep while having sex. Not my finest moment. Now I'm in court. I can't wait to be your attorney.
who is the naked dude on the coffee table
thats jeff, jeff is nice so don't be rude
Maybe if I get to know him I'll stop wanting to fuck his wife so much.
I'm about to eat a 2month old weed brownie I just found in my lax duffel bag. will you answer if I call you in like an hour and a half
I definitely don't have enough experience with hookers to be in this group text anymore.
In the middle of pounding my asshole he stopped and said, "do you want to get breakfast after this?"
What happened last night?
Lets just say you asked me a couple times if you had eyeballs..
Just woke up next to a hungry lesbian and a half eaten croissant on my stomach. Can you come get me?
Randomize
