i think 'regret' was last night's theme. i could taste it in my mouth and woke up next to it.
my periods are so regular now that they are sync-ed with my subscriptions of vogue.
He broke up with me by playing Lynyrd Skynyrd "Free Bird".
The only people who have said happy valentines day to me today have been 2 homeless people.
Need your help. He's locked himself in the bathroom with his bong and his childhood collection of Goosebumps books.
I may or may not have traded sexual favors for Disney on Ice tickets.
I think the camel was justified in biting me.
I swear if she asks me for a baby one more time I'm gonna sleep with one of her friends
Also I fell in love w a girl dressed as a pirate that was great at doing the limbo
I learned something last night. Strippers can be on house arrest?
He asked me if the reason I slept around is because I grew up in a broken home. I am so done fucking Christians.
If you got tons of KY ads on HuluPlus, it's because I hit "relevant" every time.
Aaaaand my mom is wearing jeggings...
I was just hotboxing under my sheets and I got lost on the way out.
It was so scary.
just saw two mice fucking on our bed...i think its time to find a new place to live
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