just do him I won't tell jon
um i'm guessing you meant to send this to tina, thanks for the support in our relationship you whore
I'm so hungover I took Dramamine to help prevent the motion sickness of walking.
We made a drinking game out of Project Runway. Gay guys are so fun.
You keep saying things....but all I'm hearing is kegs
Just bartered a McD's cheeseburger and fries for two pitchers. Oregon Trail ain't got shit on me.
I think curling is the best thing to watch when you're baked.
she is like a cock bee. instead of going from flower to flower she goes from cock to cock
I felt kinda awkward walking into his house in nothing but lingerie and my dead grandmas overcoat
you wouldn't let anybody come in after ten. everybody was standing outside and you just yelled "BEING PUNCTUAL IS IMPORTANT" and slammed the door. i dont think you should be allowed to have parties anymore
it concerns me that i was already that drunk at 10
I found where he bartends and I guarantee you that in approximately nine months from this Friday, you will have a niece
This is not a drill. I need a cape. And a tuxedo. Simultaneously. Repeat. NOT. A. DRILL....
Ah, Christ. I just saw a D lister I made out with once on a Rock Of Love rerun. Why are you asleep right now? Some weird shit is happening.
I'm not the type to go to a guys house...in your case his boat...and sleep with them..I mean I have in the past but I'm trying to be more serious and grown up
I told the border patrol officer she was smuggling drugs in her ass. I doubt she cheats on me again.
The only thing i ask you for is vegan food and sex.
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