this girl and her friend just showed up at my house. standing together, theylook exactly like the number 10. this has cockblock written alllllll over it.
just realized I'm too high to take the plastic off a slice of cheese....
Exactly how many bongs can i have before my parents figure out they really aren't vases
he referred to my room as the tit cave...
Using Michelob Ultra as champagne.
All I really remember is thinking that the music looked like beautiful lizard waves in my head
This girl I interned with got engaged today and I'm just like over here taking plan B with my tacos and PBR.
They took the TVs out of the gym and the mini-Mart only had 2% milk. 2015 wants me to be fat
Almost stopped showering halfway through to go get food
Oh man
I hooked up with the lead singer of the band at the wedding. I am so hungover.
If I don't get struck by a lightning bolt from God by midnight it will be a Christmas miracle.
I thought one was bad but really there are two woman stupid enough to marry our brother...unreal
Is it weird to invite your FWB to thanksgiving dinner??
He put on star wars porn, i thought it was hilarious last night but now i'm wondering why he has star wars porn
I haven’t been this excited since I found out they sold cases of Jack Daniels.
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