Dogs love guiness but it fucks up their kidneys
Let's get naked and see who's stronger.
Well, I'm a guy so I don't have one, but if its anything like the inside of my nose, yes, vodka would burn.
is it bad that listening to the rabbi's wife talk about how we should only be with one person is making me really, really horny for no string attached sex
I do what I can to inject something into your life every day. Today, humor. Saturday. Penis.
Our funnel is on top of our neighbors roof.
Sharing a bathroom with a guy sucks. I always have to set an alarm for the middle of the night just so I can take a dump. Poop text btw
He asked us to wake him up with a strobe light. We had it going in front of his face full power for half and hour and he didn't even blink.
WHAT IS PROPER BONG ETIQUETTE FOR WHEN YOU'RE ALONE IN YOUR BATHTUB AND CRYING?
how many ponies have to be on my pajama pants to convince him im gay?
i think we need a new approach.
Found my ex-boyfriend's money stash. Call the girls, we are getting fucked up tonight, my treat.
Is it too early to get staydrunk at 1pm on Friday for Monday's St Patty's day
It's like "hey I give your roommate blowjobs twice a week, want to connect on LinkedIn?"
I guess what I'm trying to get to is that my dog sneezed on my dick earlier and its really taken the joy out of my evening.
Dude why is my bed and bedding wrapped in bubble wrap?
Cuz u wanted to insure u had a safe sleep
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