Houston.. we have a drinking problem..
she said she likes her vagina punished
being with you and your tiny dick is punishment enough
I can't even type what I drank. I'll throw up
I think you have the right to know, the water bottle you drank out of the other night is the bottle we use to catch what drips from the toilet. Love you!
That point of drunk where you're in a bar bathroom and you're like "F*ck you bra! I'm not taking your sh*t anymore! and you take it off and throw it in a trashcan.
Do you think you could handle being our babysitter if we roofied ourselves for fun??
The world is a different place when I'm actually having sex
I just got home and someone ate all my chicken nuggets. Bitches be asking for a death sentence?
She doesn't even know his real name...he just keeps calling himself Hans the Third
Let me know. Show me one boob if yes. 2 if no
Yeah, we agreed, but I feel like I need at least one more ride on the bonecoaster
it'll be like a game of Russian Roulette, but with my vagina.
He's getting so into these sexts, I hate to tell him I'm fully clothes, watching Bring It On and eating chips and salsa.
she glued two packs of googly eyes on you while you were blacked out. We talked her out of using her hot glue gun.
ummmm thanks
I wouldn't have found her if it wasn't for the vomit trail leading into my brother's room.
Randomize
