Just boiled hotdogs in bongwater. NOT a good idea.
eating raw peppers to burn the taste of semen out of my mouth
Just saw a white stretch Hummer limo outside of CiCi's pizza. Way to live up to the stereotypes, Alabama.
I hope this doesn't change things. I feel that me being a minor made it more exciting.
I wish i could 80s montage me losing weight
My dealer threw in a "freestyle rap" today with my purchase. I dont know if I can handle this relationship.
I have bruises on my ass from her spurs. God bless Texas.
i dont even mind you always shaving my pubes when i pass out, i'm starting to find it liberating.
I've woken up in some weird places in my lifetime, but never in a tent in my own garage.
You are a piece of meat with a side of awesome to me.
Is it considered a bad morning to find your boss half naked in the parking lot of work at 7am?
That depends, how hot is your boss?
I'm now at a gay bar with our relatives
Can you pay somone's bail with a credit card or just cash? I feel like you would know this.
He brought me another shot of rum, ice and my underwear when I woke up.
What a gentleman.
I KNOW, right?!
All i want from a relationship is to get drunk watch pirates of the Caribbean and have sex
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