he was actually really polite. he asked before he came on my chest because he "wasn't sure my stance on it".
Seeing him suck some chick's face on VH1 wasn't exactly how I imagined the "we should see other people" conversation going.
I just spent all my babysitting money on red cups and beer.
People still let you watch their kids?
We got really high and decided it would be a good idea to wash towels in the dishwasher. I left before I could see the final result.
Slipping me an edible before my ochem final was not your brightest idea. Looks like I'm switching to business.
We are winners. And by winners I mean home wrecking sluts
Isn't that what our 20s r for?? Testing the strength of other people's shitty relationships?
Challenge: Try to have your balls hanging out in every picture you take tonight
Challenge Accepted
Here's my first problem: I'm drunk
Wound up hungover. Visiting 4 y/o nephew suggested cookies and milk and playing Kirby with him with the sound down. This kid is going places.
I am in serious pain and you're making dick jokes. I hope you wind up with crotch rot.
Omg I just woke up in his bed.. I'm fully clothed and he is naked. I'm so confused.
dude, you ran into a window then asked ME what the fuck I was doing.
You still owe me one bodily function mess clean up.
You pee on the floor one time and you never hear the end of it...
The lady in the stall next to me just screamed "why are you so hairy!?" and "why can't you get any!?" to her vagina. WTF
Well hell, he's gotta sleep in the bed he's made. Multiple times. For multiple girls I'm sure.
Randomize
