im having a hard time not telling ppl about ur bathroom story
The girl sitting next to me in class is writing her to-do list under the title 11/31.
so far i wrote 500 words for a paper on sean paul performing we be burnin..i can officially do anything on adderral
Buying weed on Christmas. Gotta love Jewish drug dealers
puking up blue gatorade is not as nearly as much fun as it sounds
Just got physical proof that at 6 am i was running around with raw potatoes threatening to mash them on his floor. Hello, Mobile uploads
Dude, did you know, your blood is contaminated with over 17 non-beer fluids?
Can you please stop having such an active social life? I'm tryna get fucked over here
I just stood beside an Amish man and bought Cocoa Krispies and tampons.
on the bright side i found your panties and the lid to the nutella
You’re like one of those doomsday preppers, but for your vagina
I find nice boys who are in extremely long term relationships with nice girls, wait for them to break up, and sneak in for the rebound fucking.
You are like a terrifying jaguar of sex. Predatory.
Decided to stay in tonight. Completely sober. Just got two drunken booty calls within 5 minutes of each other. This is my life.
I know you would. And one day, we'll have a moment where i'll verbally assault a stranger for you.
The gift for sixth anniversary is steel. He bought me handcuffs. Inee I married the right man!
Randomize
