We walked past a group of guys in front of a bar last night and they claimed, I quote: Wow, we'd actually have to work for that.
I just threw up while getting a haircut. I'm never trying to accomplish stuff with a hangover again.
I bet you think you're really funny for switching my line of coke with a line of protein powder.
So not only did team sweden fail to particpate in any drinking game but i also found puke in my viking helmet this morning.
vodka bottle broke. scooping it out of the plastic tub with a shot glass into a sprite bottle using a ziplock bag as a funnel and straining the glass out with paper towels. good thursday night?
I think we need to teach you what straight means again
buying a tattoo gun on ebay just sounded like a good idea at the time idk man
I'm sitting in the breakroom facing a very large sign that says "inappropriate workplace behaviors", and i can't help but feel like it is directed at me
He said we would have a beautiful daughter together. That way too much for a one night stand...
Monday funday. I brushed my teeth with antibacterial soap. hangover I did not have.
Our night has progressed to doing coke off a laundry machine through a parking ticket
Amanda, I can 99.9% assure you i'm probably never going to bang your mom
I DON'T LIKE THAT SENTENCE
I just want him to go down on me while I eat a burger. Is that too much to ask?
I just wanna inform you guys that the first pregnancy scare of 2016 is over...
A world without bacon flavored condoms is not one I want to live in.
Randomize
