lets start a swedish sibling band together
By the way, your roommate is right. His penis is much bigger than yours.
I'm watching the red sox through my neighbors window from my bathroom. We're winning btw.
i keep seeing random pieces of my outfit all around town.
My mom called me and we started arguing as usual. I finally screamed at her "I HEAR YOU AND THAT 30 YEAR OLD FUCKING!" and hung up. She hasn't called back yet. I win.
I can't believe I am actually paying for a night in a hotel for my parents so I can throw a party the night before Christmas Eve. I also can't believe they think it's their Christmas present.
His idea of romance is drunkenly leaving me dead dandelions on my car in the middle of the night
She's cute, but batshit. Like some kind of dominatrix disney princess.
Currently putting together my outfit for this weekend, AKA a poster board that says "I'll cook you breakfast and do all your laundry, take me home." On front and back
WHAT KIND OF GUY JACKS OFF TO A PICTURE OF A BUTT WHAT IS THIS THE 1980s
Pregnancy has ruined porn for me. I can't watch a hot chick get it on without being jealous of her perfectly waxed shit. I can't even see my shit.
I like it here so far, only people are a lot less accepting of my terrible decisions and it's cramping my style
Im just drunk enough to admit that I miss Hannah Montana.
He’s 48, has a Prince Albert piercing and a white Range Rover
Lesbians just stole my cat :(
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