drinking colt 45 because lando calrissian told me to
there are seriously like six guinea pigs in my bathtub right now
She used the word "fragged" in proper context. tell me that's not bust-nut hot.
did the walk of shame through a baseball field. .A little league game was going on. Proceeded to buy a hot dog at the concession stand. the looks were priceless.
I was fucking the girl and her best friend walked in on us. She said we looked thirsty, got us a glass of water, and poured it down both of our throats. It was like... sex bottle service
omg dinner turned into a foam party this is weiriiid
you kept looking at stripers and saying " Go to College"
I never thought your mom would see me throwing up on my hands and knees in your front yard
We're making herpes jokes very loudly and hoping she notices.
Its official the day you get back into town we are having a going away to jail party for me. My last wish before prison is to shit faced drunk with you, get into a fist fight, and then cuddle up and fall asleep. Just like old times <3
I just realized I donated our bong to goodwill.. RIP Kimbo Slice
You suck, She hit so hard.
He had to put his grandma's photo away before I tied him to the bed. She doesn't need to see any of that.
I was so close to going to get my nipples pierced with my mom today
Well the good news of being walked in on, my mom says your tits are pretty. Then she added that hers were like that once. Fml
I love random hookups in covid sex. Usually girls think me about a one and a half to a two and a half but now that I got this mask on I'm a Solid 6.
Randomize
