I'm getting drunk watching the disney channel. Is this a main reason why we aren't together anymore?
know what turns me on? long, stringy hair on a pasty looking girl with an overstuffed backpack and kneepads over her jeans in case she falls off her scooter
your less of a man for seeing that
Does getting a boner while watching the celtic women sing opera on ETV make me cultured?
Why did that cocktail waitress get to sleep with Tiger for 2 years, and all I ever got for living in Whorelando for five years is a couple of pictures with Joey Fatone
I'm sorry for throwing the cheese everywhere, but it wasn't my fault. No one was enforcing disipline so not really my fault for not behaving
Dude, you need to come clean your dates vomit off the ceiling. What in the hell were you guys doing?!
I mostly enjoyed dancing with him because his boner was scratching my bug bites.
I ended up naked with smirnoff caps on my nipples. Dignity is now a completely foreign concept to me.
i would really love it if at least once per weekend i did not wake up to you half naked passed out on the floor
I will now send you explicit pics of mine and her genetalia bound together forever in the devils dance that is sexting.
I tried to walk home in my heels. And I fell into a snow bank. And then I cried and a policeman came up to me and said I can't sit in a snowbank and got me a cab. So maybe that's where I left my credit card. I remember the cop asking me if I was old enough to drink, too. OMG. How embarrassing. Pretty sure I told him to "leave me alone."
I'm wine drunk & this is not good news for anybody
Don't forget to bring $1s for the strippers. Make it rain!!!!
Thanks, mom, will do
I can't believe the police had to bring me to my booty call last night
We banged in his car behind the burrito place. Google Maps keeps asking me to rate my visit. 5/5, would cum again.
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