eating taco bell the same day as formal = probably a bad idea
oh hey summer self, welcome to endless thirsty thursdays and walks of shame.
You just kept mumbling, "Shit shit shit, the muffin man owes me money." Repeatedly.
I cannot believe we're comparing my vagina to Mary Poppins and a black hole.
I never thought I would say the free bottle of grey goose was the problem but it was
I found a tip from a dart in my bra this morning
New term. "Find a husband" fridays. It's like thirsty thursdays, but with a dowry.
dude you said you were going to be a human flag and climbed the telephone pole and fell in front of a car
Ohhh,that's true. Babies are only fun when you're high. Otherwise, they're the worst kind of people.
You texted me a picture of your face along with #help
Yeah when we were together he never sent me dick pics like a normal boyfriend. It was always pizzas. That should've been my sign.
Fuck man, my Dad's been single so long I get him a year's sub to a porn site every year for for Father's Day
SO EXCITED ABOUT STRING CHEESE RIGHT NOW
I want your cock. I also want to cuddle you and tell you how amazing you are, because you know balance.
hey sweets how's ur crotch today?
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