My dad just yelled at me for going to youth group with out telling him. Apparently going out to fuck a girl without telling him gets me a high 5, going to youth group gets me grounded.
dude! the alphabet song and twinkle twinkle little star are like the same tune
what drug did you take to come to that conclusion??
i told my doctor i had 3 partners and one unprotected.. shes a cute little indian lady i couldnt break her heart
i'm in his phone as sushi coochie
Where else am I to apply my creativity?
I don't know. Anywhere productive and not involving sex toys would be a start.
The forest. Magic mushrooms. Wind trees leaves sky. That is alll.
That's the last time I do shots near a campfire.
In need of cum proof mascara. Don't judge me.
I was about to take him home and fuck his brains out but then the police came and arrested him for the stolen credit card he had been buying me drinks with all night...
Dude I thought she was trying to turn my dick inside out
Makes sense. My grandma just did this shot. MY FAMILY KICKS ASS.
if becoming an adult is chugging a bottle of wine in your bed and crying about your stresses while your dog watches you, sign me up
Remember when I made fun of you when you ran out of toilet paper on your brother's birthday and had to use coffee filters? Guess what happened today
DO NOT TRY TO APPROACH HER CAT. IT IS A DEMON CAT FROM SATAN'S BALLS AND IT *WILL* TRY TO KILL YOU. I SPEAK FROM EXPIRENCE.
I'm a mess. I mean I almost got off but I'm a fucking rubics cube down there so il givenhim the point
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