Is that you in the white hat?
Fine suit yourself
I assume you are not resopnding because you are having sex thus i give you a text message high five
True Life: I puke at bars and try to catch it in my hand...then walk away like it didn't happen
Never eat 3 McGriddles and drink a carton of milk. It's like you're successfully killing self but you're alive.
Gay walks of shame are so much more Amy Winehouse than straight girls
You are the worst kind of disappointment. The responsible kind.
I'd just like to inform all involved that walking into a liquor store holding a milk crate at the beginning of a night as stock ends badly
Please take a moment of silence for the fact that I still have all 10 fingers
My love will cover her like lulu lemon yoga pants. Casually supportive and always complimenting your Ass.
He's only done it missionary. His world is about to be rocked. Do you know what I look like from behind?
Well we did eat French fries lady-and-the-tramp style last night...
I tried to light my cup as a bong. I'm done drinking
If you can handle my post-party look you da real MVP
Rain drop, shock top, drinking can't stop stop
I love that we can live in a world where I can Google "Harry Potter lizard" and an illustration for my dream pops up
Randomize
