i messed up with two guys last night...one i pranked and left the phone on..the other one i went crazy on trying to be his girlfriend after four jagermeister shots...
I took an adderall but just ended up meticulously arranging my farmville for hours
just told my prof that "i dont give a fuck" about the final. nothing like a having a signed employment contract already
She started crying while we were cooking shrimp because 'Under the Sea" came on Pandora
You handed some guy a spoon you found, he yelled SPOON GAME, and then the two of you spent the next 20 minutes throwing spoons all over the kitchen.
she asked how her costume looked and all i could say was bars are dark right?
So I am guessing last night was a success we are all accounted for and only 3 of us have hospital bracelets on
Just found an unopened tied g of coke on the floor in her room... she thinks the maintenance guy dropped it earlier today. This takes the cake for sketchiest apartment.
the reputation of my dick game is on the line. You're killing the team, here, G
So I definitely tried to pay a cab with baseball tickets last night
Do normal couples celebrate occasions naked with Chicken McNuggets and BBQ sauce?
Shut the fuck up! I can hear you having sex over Pirates of the Caribbean you moaning whore.
I think someone shaved off all their pubes in the handicap stall or a werewolf stopped by the office to take a crAzy dump!
I'm just trying to figure out the reason why humans wear socks....
Is 6 weeks really a benchmark now?
Ask me in 6 more weeks, when they're in a bisexual polycule.
Randomize
