Too bad my picture didn't come thru. It was one of me naked riding a unicorn with a wizard hat and a magic staff. And the unicorn had wings. And me too.
So is chris hansen cool in person? Or is it just awkward while you wait for the cops?
and now I know what throwing up pineapple chunks is like.
Yeah, we had those soaking in vodka for like 36 hours
outstanding.
His birthday is on fathers day. I know its a cruel coincedence but this is too funny to pass up.
You basically tried to anal probe my passed out friend with a lamp
You haven't puked in my sink in over a year.. Youre coming over this weekend
Totally just sport flirted the shit out of a girl on a wheelchair. I've done my good deed for the day.
some chick tossed a drink in your face at the bar last night. your mouth was opened so i think you ended up swallowing at least half of it. good job.
Guys with values who care about your personality don't cum on your back the 2nd time they you sleep with you.
Slowly realizing that my only incentive to bathe is shower beer
There really needs to be a redbox for wine because I want some but too lazy to walk into a store
Can't decide if this guy is hot or if I'm just bored.
Sex is clearly the solution either way.
after you got high, you started to make guac with your bare hands and said: "there's soda bubbles in my legs"
Okay, so is being determined to have my vagina licked by a woman on Valentine's day an acceptable goal?
TELL HER ABOUT THE GODDAMNED MOTHERFUCKING POTATOES
Randomize
