Nothing says "I love you" like a full raw dog.
i just jacked off to lindsey vonn, i feel so patriotic
USA! USA! USA!
My RA just gave me tips on how to have discreet shower sex. Were we that loud?
I kept grabbing at Stephanie's boobs because I thought the leopard spots on her dress were popcorn.
He was going nice and slow, then he yelled " BOONNEESTOORRMM!!!!!". I can't walk straight.
I don't remember anything but yelling at the ref in Spanish.
Her mom is home on her lunch break. Guess who's hiding In the Closet?
These shoes are way too nice for a walk of shame. Its how I keep myself in line.
My liver was like a college freshman on spring break. It would've danced topless on tables if it could have.
This is America. Thomas Jefferson would have said I want some vagina.
I yield to the immortal wisdom of one ludacris, who famously wrote, "can't turn a hoe in to a housewife." Indeed, ludacris, indeed.
yeah well, its not like my astrogynecology class is teaching me what i need to know
im almost 90% sure there is no such thing as astrogynecology.
I feel like my vagina was punched by chuck Norris, a Brazilian chuck Norris.
STOP PUTTING PICTURES OF JONAH HILL IN MY KITCHEN CABINETS!
Tell me that I didn't just get ash in my Russian and just mix it TF in bc who cares and life has no meaning.
Randomize
