3 different guys in my psych class know me as 3 different names and said hi to me with all 3 different names-Andrea, Grace, and Bella
I've never been more proud of you
Remember when the only STD we had to worry about were hickies? Those were the days
Just tried my new showerhead. Sex with Brian will never be the same.
I think I just need to get a pillow shaped like a toilet seat.
You could probably play six degrees of separation of my cock in this city.
U offered to motor boat her and it somehow turned into u two going on a sunset cruise in Newport. At 3am.
IF I CAN STICK YOUR DICK IN MY MOUTH, I CAN STICK MY GUM ON YOUR NIGHTSTAND.
Any clothing i put on is too many clothes.
No man. Everyone needs to shit off a roof, at least once.
1. My arms are cement 2. I wish dogs could answer the phone
Bonded with the ladies at the perfume outlet by saying "help me smell like i'm not hungover before my shift starts". This is not where I wanted my life to be
I can't believe you cupped pat's balls to prove your fake relationship
have fuck
*fun
actually forget it have a fuck too it'll do you good
I woke up and found that i was using my computer as a pillow. i had 53 pages of random letters on Microsoft word
Regardless I WANT TO BE YOUR SEX DISPENSARY. that is like the career I was born for.
Randomize