I am so horny I keep driving over the rumble strips... best half hour ever.
Oh no, it isn't official until she poops.
He started yelling "fuck the environment" then puked all over the baby trees
He just asked if I would make his black snake moan. Dating basketball players is not worth the glory
I don't remember what happened but judging from the contents of my pockets it had something to do with potatoes and glo in the dark condoms
They said an hour before I even see a doctor...and they noticed the shots tally on my arm.
I may or may not be negotiating a deal of baked goods for socks...keep you posted
OPIZZABONMYDICK
Can rosie odonnell just not be a lesbian? Shes stressing me out, knowing we bat for the same team.
She's lucky her pussy is worth listening to her ramble about bedroom furniture for 30 minutes
MY GOD DAMN TV STOPS WORKING EVERY TIME I AM THIS FUCKING HIGH. WHY MUST IT TORMENT ME?!
who knew magic tricks and sex would actually go together?
So apparently dinosaur erotica does, in fact, exist.
Does she know she is talking to people who slam shots of fireball and chase it with vodka?
She then told me, and I quote "I want to send you nudes just to see how you'd react."
Randomize
