ps i'm pretty sure i was blacked out when we hooked up? good thing i was w. you and not an actual diddler or an organ harvester
Hahaha. Shut up you were blacked out my ass. U were str8 mixin it up with urs truly like it was ur J-O-B
Have you come up with a team name for the beer pong tournament on Saturday?
We can be the stepdads. If anyone asks why say because we beat you and you hate us.
thanks 4 putting "im not your boyfriend baby" on my sex playlist. she just got pissed and left.
She was wearing a shirt that said "Just Do Me", holding a half of a bottle of Vodka, and was screaming at her friends "PUSSY JUST SWALLOW!" before she chugged the rest of the bottle.
Dude, if you don't take her, I will.
Drinking with a woman who gave an anti-drugs speech at my high school. Somehow, not surprised.
I don't know how I'm gonna do that tomorrow. I feel like I was hit by the motorhome. LOL I WAS.
Woke up in the middle of my kitchen clutching a cheesy gordita crunch
Did she owns a vibrator that will set off seismic activity.
Either I think of sex like a man, or all the men in Vegas are women.
Though I don't usually want to turn down ladies who want to liquify my clothing with their eyes, I made an exception.
Has anyone ever blacked out at an art show your dad brought you to?
I'm not dropping acid and watching game of thrones with you. That just sounds like a disaster waiting to happen.
She was a little thick, but we banged on the beach and fireworks went off as we finished so I think God wanted it
He offered to dress his dick up as Charlie Chaplin to cheer me up.
Keep him.
I probably should have told her I was actually the drunkest one there before she let me pierce her ear
Randomize
