MTV running anti-sexting commercials is a slap in the face to everything our generation has accomplished.
FYI you just passed out mid-blow job. Consider this my letter of resignation.
How did you get the entire couch up on it's side and into the bathroom?
I'm fucked up. I can't drink anymore. We stole a cat.
I go to a class slightly intoxicated and they bring in a baby. What a life.
We're like Siamese twins, but joined at the genitals.
Kripsy Kremes at our place, bring your own coffee. And your own donuts because these ones are ours.
So many gingers... It's like a beacon went out that said "this one is ok with red hair"
he has a party story that rivals our "PTSD- soldier-with-a-knife" party story. I'm pretty sure this is part of some prophecy.
Can you bring me the toilet please
Idk how much vodka is on these pants but I'm gonna wear them anyway: the biopic
Just took physics exam. I think this is one of those 'chuck it in the fuck-it bucket and become an art major' days
Appearently I went across the hall last night demanding to ride my neighbors moose... How much did I drink?
Her boyfriend offered to buy me a vibrator. I'm not sure how to feel about that.
I got copblocked.
What?
Cockblocked. By a cop. Copblocked.
Randomize
