question: masturbation: how much is too much? I think i'm about to tip toe a fine line
He actually believes he's not an alcoholic if he doesn't go to meetings.
so I guess it's not okay to mix vodka and ..everything and then proceed to offer a lap dance to ...everyone.
I'm going to have to call in sick tomorrow. After this weekend, there's no way I can handle hearing the accountants talk about double entry without puking.
Damn it if I pass out in the bathroom one more time this month im going to rehab...
it'll be like the batcave but for manwhores
it's like doing a sit-up... but, you're inside someone
Just bought a McDouble with a tightly rolled dollar. The lady just gave me a sad face...
I'm trying to figure if this dude sitting in his car with the door open is dead or just sleeping. Someone was probably wondering the same thing bout me 20 minutes ago. Your meeting is taking a ridiculous amount of time.
I heard drunk is the new sober. I heard me say that. To a cop. Can you come get me??
Who looks around on a bright, sunny day and says, "you know what? Today I'm going to write gay dinosaur erotica"
let’s face it, me joining a co-ed soccer league is like, 33% motivated by my crotch seeking a healthy outlet
People trash cargo shorts, but I'm like, sorry I had room for beers and you didn't.
you should come have a drink with me (non alcoholic or otherwise) im at the same bar as your sister and a few guys that would apparently "lick your butthole"-congratulations
We had a pink drink in honor of my underwear and apparently I made out with our bartender... a few times
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