You were right, I'm so drunk and I want to eat the shit out of my vanilla cupcake candle it smells delish
Experience is the best teacher
Honestly there's alot of things I'm confused about the only thing I know for certain about last night is that I ate pizza
Omg. There's def a kid, like 10 years old, sitting in a buggy at wal mart holding a sign that reads "I can't behave"
Its that time of week again, Bad life decision wednesday
ummm i just drove by ur house and ur passed out on the porch. please call me when u get this
She scratched my sunburn during sex. I didn't know whether to cry or cum
Everything tastes like Lysol. Am I dying?
I cant believe they held hands while getting simultaneous bjs
Passing out is my livers way of protecting my mind.
You can jump from the roof to the pool. Trust me. I have done this before.
There will always be a place in my black heart for him because he gave me my first sex-induced orgasm. While you slept on the bunk above.
He is nice. Kind of short though. But didn't try to rub his jean cock on me.
Which I appreciated.
Can you tell me why Star Wars Burlesque is pulled up on my phone from last night?
Never let me go online shopping while drunk. I now own 2 baby cribs. I have no children
Dude I pissed in her little brother's closet and when I tried to flush the doorknob her parents came out and saw me standing there naked, no more ambien for me
Randomize
