You told her the u were going to wrap your dick around her neck and start her like a lawn mower. thats why she left.
I never said you were fat, just too fat for ME
trust me, there is no more disappointing feeling in the world than waking up at 4 in the morning with a random half naked chick in your bed and then realizing your roommates girlfriend just wandered into the wrong room.
Potato salad is not cupcake ingredient
I just tipped the cab driver with pistachio nuts. And he loved it.
Her vagina felt like a fur coat. It was weird at first but I kinda liked it
Dude i swear to christ if he sends me one more pic of a "magnificent dump" im changing my number
After some trial and error I found soaking my balls in maple syurip helps ease the pain.
I blame it on the rum. It keeps jumpng doqn my throst.
She's high and running across rooftops. Yes we're going to end up in A&E again.
idk man, I was fucked up and eating fried rice at the grocery store, tried to wave at her but she just looked concerned at me.
You never know true fear until you're on your period in a house full of white furniture.
I used an explanation of Walking Marriages in the Mosuo Culture to successfully negotiate an open relationship. That Anthropology degree is finally starting to pay off.
Sorry didnt text you yesterday. had to put restraining order on my ex.
So she was amazing, that's what. Idk if it was the blow or the blowjob, but both my heads are still tingling.
Randomize
