Culvers...So Good
So good. The butter burgers slip right outta my ass.
The size of her hoop earrings are directly related to how much of a slut she is.
i was so drunk i stopped mid-blowjob to make sure he i was with my boyfriend and not some random. twice.
just snorted lines off a mancala board. I'm destined to win this game.
Just passed a guy passed out on a riding lawn mower in his front yard.
don't be alarmed if you come back and i'm passed out drunk and naked cuddling with the franzia.
do we own a ladder
We do not.
then how am i on the roof
WHO THE FUCK TAGS THEMSELVES AT COUNTY JAIL?!?!
Have you picked out a bathroom stall in which to fuck? Since you've got all this free time before her plane lands...
After you passed out we took your car to the campus and stole a 150lb plaque that's now in your trunk. Happy birthday!
You was so high that you insisted that you heard someone whistle, then you insisted they was trapped in the wall!
I think the blind guy i flirt with on a regular basis is starting to realize he's old enough to be my father. I can't tell if he's into it or not.
Gotta wait until my full time offer is confirmed before I try to fuck the mid level manager
He's mad about lube? You know what, don't even. I'm not in the proper mindset to discuss lube.
She's not answering my calls
Well it sounds like you really fucked up
WHO HOLDS A GRUDGE OVER MEMES
Randomize
