So we made editble underwear with fruit roll ups and fruit by the foot
Apparently I called 911 everytime Sean Kingston told me to
Remember that one time i smeared period blood on your face?
I hate you
She's like a pop up book from hell.
sorry for covering your dog in whipped cream. his bark made it sound like he wanted it.
Okay! I've got my sketchbook, my purse, my coat, and a knife hidden in my cleavage. I'm ready for to meet my blind date~
You kept trying to throw the grocery cart off the balcony.
St Patricks day needs to be raged like youve never raged before. Like youre in the desert and it starts raining beer. Like it's the day the announced the 21st amendment (which is the one that ended prohibition)
When she sees your dick for the first time, tell her it glows blue when orcs are close
I have a rash on my arm from the cat litter. Think the cat will be mad that I peed in its box?
I sent him a tit pic with the caption, "Mt. Arie and Mt. Hola are ready for expedition." Too nerdy?
I watched you down those shots like a lion cub watching its mother rip apart a gazelle
He gave me my financial savings if I invested with him while I was giving him a bj.
His family, without saying anything, started a game of quarters the moment the drinks arrived. I love them. If only I didn't hate him so much.
She asked what the dent on the hood of my car was from..i think she knows we had sex up there
Randomize