Just saw the true definition of the muffin top and camel toe all on one person at the DC zoo... Tried to take a pic but she got away..
They should really pass out barf bags in church
wait one more day. tuesday is my official "i hit on you and/or we hooked up this weekend" friend request day.
i chipped my tooth tryin to cut thru her pantyhose. that stuff is bulletproof.
Her parents walked in on us. So for my birthday they bought me a blow-up doll with their daughters face on it. I don't know what to think right now.
so I am that guy with the red solo cup in class. someone has to step it up.
I am now being bribed with one orgasm per every meal I eat. This is the best anorexia therapy ever
Puke, feathers, beads, and solo cups all on my way to class. I'm surprised anyone's alive after this weekend.
first time i ever mailed panties back to a fuck buddy. what better of a way to say its over
It would have been nice to break the dry spell with nice, civilized, sober sex somewhere other than on my friend's couch.
He said he could outsmoke me so I challenged him to a weed duel. I don't always very competitive but when I do...
She picked me up from the bar in her underwear.
I feel like you can't break up with someone on 420. It's against stoner code
Acid king. Jackson puked a lot. Promoter booth. Angry security. No acid. Probably a good thing.
when some dude came up to you and said he didn't like your shirt you just looked at him and firmly asked if he really thought that you gave a fuck.
Randomize
