I'm drinking on the job... HEAVILY
They totally botched my boob job. My tits look like they're are winking.
fyi, i just bought my first strap-on. the little mermaid theme song was playing in the background.
I've already planned a drinking game for mtvs jersey shore....jagerbomb everytime they do
Hurry up I might actually study if I am left alone
is it consensual if they're cheered on by a room filled with 30 people?
it tasted disgusting. but i pretty much drank it in the name of science, and free alcohol
I'm really really gonna try not to at least one night. The 4 day thanksgiving bender almost killed me last year
He knew exactly who I'd slept with after just one look at my crotch. He's like the Sherlock Holmes of cocks.
Also, I called my liver hardcore in front of vet students last night and then wound up having three of them trying to palpate it. So...not saying that again.
I needed 3am water. Not 3am shots of rum.
Just found the measuring tape in my bathroom. How drunk could I have possibly been on Saturday?!
I'm gonna do it. I'm gonna write gay mortal kombat fanfic. May the gods be praised for whisky
Remember when I was real fucked up and said I would give up utensils and only use chopsticks for lent?...just got the reminder on my phone.
It’s like a sexy version of those choose your own adventure books from when we were kids. No matter what you choose, there will be penis!
Randomize
