There are 3 speedbumps now up. Think you can manage the urge to piss on them?
Aw shit! That's like putting me a in a room full of Captiain Crunch Donuts and Jasper Hale and not letting me put my mouth on either.
the beds are so narrow its like a jenga threesome
He never called back after I emailed him my booty call contract.
im about as happy as oj after his trial
I think I should have my paycheck direct deposited to the bar
I thought making out with his sister would be a great way of meeting him. But it backfired.
the wall and i were having dominance issues.
I'm an EMT, not a miracle worker. No, I can't fix your sprained dick.
Which one of you fuckers thought itd be funny to see if the kitchen table can float.
Ok. Here's the plan. Take your hand (whichever is closest), summon all your nerve, and just stick it right down his pants.
I love you.
Well you know I have tits so that's half the battle
I'm getting paid over-time to sit on reddit and look at dicks and abs all day. I'm really happy right now.
When Dad gets to your house, ask him about the sound of anal beads. Happy Thanksgiving!
Dude, A DAMN CHEESEBURGER HIT ME IN THE FACE!!! WTF was i suppoused to do!?.
My boob job is like a master key that gets me in any door, any party and anyone’s pants! They’re magical!
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