i feel like im doing the pre-walk of shame..like every car that drives by is like, ooooo look at that girl, in that itty bitty dress, yep shes about to get her skank on tonight...
We woke up next to each other with a mutual look of disgust, and then he left. I knew I should have gone for the younger brother.
maybe i'll see you again later :)
I'd rather shit a knife.
Found out in my property law class that you can sell your eggs for $8000. Helloooo spring break.
the only thing he could say in english were 'insert coin here' and 'game over'. i love spanish men.
i can't tell if you're serious or not, but 420 is gonna be pirate themed
Besides the whole peeing blood for a week thing, it was the best sex of my life.
Is it 3pm? Or am I losing my mind because it's pickled in vodka and diet coke?
When you wake up, just ignore the mess in the bathroom. I'll take her home when I'm off work.
He fell backwards into a full bathtub but didn't spill a single drop of the beer in his hand. What a pro.
I know how vodka works Grace. I'm drunk, not stupid.
I shoulda been born a dude. There's too much power in a vagina.
So I've reached a new low. After completing my walk of shame and being told "see you around", I took off my heels to discover he had came in my shoe.
Kinda. I got kicked outta the bar, and then incited a riot until the cops came and I bailed
She's like a cask of Amontillado. Very tempting if I was drunk, but sober, I know I'll get fucked over in the end.
Randomize
