My mom says you aren't allowed to eat doritos at my house
just saw an old couple make out...not too sure how I feel about it. though I will admit at one point I was thinking "oh yeah! get that!"
Best news ive heard all week. The cougars r coming! The cougars are coming!
my cup is half full, half full of rum.
Green mimosas i think yes
I AM SUCH A BETTER PERSON ON DRUGS
I'm taking a new approach to homewrecking... for science. Or I totally would. I have to see what happens between my ex & his brother when he finds out.
she asked me where ive been her entire life and the guy in the room next to us yelled "with other women bitch!"
You told the cop FUCK YOU AND YOUR TASER, i dont think he appricaited that
Should I take my grandma to a keg tomorrow or not? Serious question
Sounds good. Look at us. Planning sex like proper adults.
HE WAS DRESSED LIKE A FISHERMAN AND HE WAS LIKE OH SHIT I THINK I JUST FOUND THE DEADLIEST CATCH i couldnt not go for it my honour compelled me
What happened after I vommed in your shirt that I was wearing and threw it out the window on the highway?
I renamed some of my contacts in my phone before passing out and I have one I cant figure out, its "fucking house elf scum"
If I die tonight, you and your brother can split my money evenly for college only.
all $38?
Randomize
