He came in the heat vent in my car. Don't ask how it happened.
Last night was so much fun. i kept trying to lick everyone
That's the great thing about NY, if you pee your dress you have an entire cab ride to air dry your panties before the next club.
You know... If I put the same amount of effort into school as I put into giving women orgasms I would be a Rhodes scholar
Nothing like a 3am firealarm to kick a booty call out...
Oh god I can't handle any more dudes. I just walk of shamed to work wearing a guy's boxers and a life jacket. This summer is going to kill me.
Remember how I haven't seen my step sister in like 7 years? Pretty sure I just made out with her...
All I've succeeded in doing since I saw you is drool on my shoulder
he told me "apparently my gag reflex doesn't work so if you magically grew a penis I would deep throat you"
Bro I needs to be rescued in 30 mins...prfeebly someone died in a car accident needs to be the excuse
So my family just woke up on Easter morning and shared a bowl. That's bonding😊
finals do horrible things to a person. i haven't worn pants since friday
I love how fuckboys immediately become cultured when I tell them I’m an artist.
How did the surgery go?
My face feels like a marshmallow.
God knew I'd have horrible taste in men, so made me asexual to ensure I'd never fuck them.
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