I puked a lego.
is drinking for groundhog day legit?
well you blacked out on MLK day and we pregamed arbor day, so yes
We were sexting and then the radio announced robert pattinson would be playing kurt cobain in a movie and it totally killed the mood
Got blown by one of the bridesmaids. Family BBQ today. They all know. Talk about awkward.
We didn't have a blender for the margaritas, so she tried to use the garbage disposal and wasted half a handle of my grandpa's good tequila.
I wasn't concerned until I realized he was using the vase my birthday flowers came in as a " big glass" for his 151 and coke.
You're right. Single life welcomed me back with open arms. It's like it knew it wasnt going to be long when I left.
They fucked on my pong table last St. Patty's and broke it. I feel like I should be hiding my new one. Would hate for a tradition to form.
My phone keeps autocorrecting to the "st. Natty's Day Parade" and I'm completely okay with that
I just passed a kid trying to leave on a lawn mower
I have a terrible feeling that I made out with a fraternity last night
Looking for my adderal, only found acid. What a shame
My concern for you and peanut butter is the reason I am still awake.
Me and my girlfriend were watching porn together..... it got awkward cause I kept getting notifications from my family on Facebook
He lives 20 minutes away driving distance and decided to walk. I talked to him today and he took a nap along the way... In a cemetery.
Randomize
