it was all good till he told me to dance slow and quiet
My wife says its no good to have oral sex during pregnancy. So i guess pregnancy is like regular life.
Why do I fail so hard at ironing, when I'm a woman and i should be amazing at it?
because god found you far too good at oral sex and had to make all things even?
oh there is nothing like the 1st beerbong of the school year
I should have but it might be too early in this fuckbuddyship to emasculate him
Side note, we are 25 fighting over our sophmore year RAs Drunk facebook attention
I paused the movie when the delivery guys arrived, and while they were assembling the bed, one of the guys pointed to the tv and said "why so serious?" And it made the whole experience happy.
And then she said "wanna make a vine of me twerking on the wall?"
I'm at the point where I'm more upset that he got to keep my bottle of Fireball than that he stopped talking to me with no explanation
I lost my bra at his grandma's house so there's that.
Let's make an agreement. No drugs until you finish all your homework. I'm hiding them as we speak.
Laziness has hit a new level. I'm out of clean sexy underwear and meeting a boy tonight so I'm having a thong delivered via post mates.
Well let me fuck you while I make potatoes. It's every girls dream
I canceled a date last night to eat pop tarts and go to bed early
I'm naked, eating straight Nutella, and listening to "Make you feel my love" on repeat. So no. He didn't ask me out.
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