Dude I just peed on my pants. not in them though. and yes there is a difference
i can't believe i never thought of this: farticle man
Apparently 'she used to sleep with my brother' is not an acceptable answer to how do you know each other.
We name dropped you at the liquor store and got a ten percent discount!
I'm sober in pajamas at a bar. Nothing is ok about that statement.
You grinded on me in Jimmy johns to a madonna song.
Two hot shots of tequila for breakfast? Yeah today is gonna be a shit show
I've known you for the past two years. You never kid about biology or alcohol.
Living room floor. I asked him to give me a back rub. He did. And smoothly transitioned that to foreplay, then basically threw me on the floor. My vagina hurts. He deserves another Christmas present.
WHAT GOOD IS APPRECIATING IF NOBODY'S NAKED
I wish I could take a screenshot of how things literally look from my eyeballs right now
It must have been good head...he put down the Xbox controller
And to celebrate the raising of our lord I just purchased a bunny buttplug. Am I doing this Easter thing right?
Had a dream I dropped the L word and immediately threatened to kill myself
You probably shouldn't be having nightmares about expressing affection
He literally shouted this Viking war cry when he cam. Then as we laid there he sang me the most beautiful rendition of " When Irish Eyes are Smiling". I've never been more confused.
Randomize
