i'm going through the NYU 2014 group looking for future drunken hookups. too slutty?
He just made me apologize because his morning wood is NOT a laughing matter.
Can u check his last FB check in, then come pick me up from there. Blame it on the tequila
Dude, its flawless. what could go wrong?
Jail. That could go wrong.
I feel like after that many guys, all of the water in your body is just replaced with pure jizz, honestly.
230 lb girl across the train from me is giving a dude in a kilt a handjob while he sits in her lap
Also adulthood=replacing meals with bourbon. And not getting your hair caught in a fan.
his finger was half off and he was more concerned that he wasnt at home shooting cucumbers out of his potato gun.
Liquor doesn't fix sad, but it sure as hell lowers my standards for a rebound.
There was a point where you were singing "Friends in Low Places" to yourself while Juicy J was playing so I got worried.
Actually just remembered that solo cup full of scotch that random guy gave me for not farting on him. That's probably why
Yeah you'd pretty much be ruined if you broke up with a guy like that and then had to return to the dating pool
not only did u rap a voicemail to me last night.... but it lasted so long that it cut you off so you called back to finish..... never do this again
Dude, I'm sorry if you saw me getting head in my truck last night. My bad.
Don't try to butter me sideways
That is without a doubt the most Southern thing you have ever said.
Randomize
