Midget sex pt 2 tonight
Just found 50 pesos and a coke spoon in my dads old shit. Gotta love the 70s
I am not one to point fingers but since it says your name "wuz here" next to the dick drawn on my stomach I am holding you personally responsible.
If i apologize for punching you in the liver repeatedly will you explain where the grass stains on my shoulders came from?
If you're trying to piece together your night, I can tell you where those tassels came from.
I am a terrible person. This is almost as bad as when I was going to see my ex while my boyfriend was at that funeral.
well let's see. after you forcefully shoved a half-eaten apple in my mouth, you ruined the pepsi by dumping an entire beer in there.
This might be the most awkward night of my life. And I had someone pee on me once.
They sat at the bar while we waited for a table. When the hostess came to seat us, they were shitfaced, and swordfighting wth chop sticks.
Did I actually say goodbye last night or did I just poison you with vodka and disappear?
Nope my penis exudes pure oxygen in times of crisis.
You know, you have a good excuse now if you have a poor performance. Just say "what do you expect? I took a paintball to the DICK!!"
Me and you. The most fucked up people on the planet drinking together. Hell yeah
How dare you not respond to me after opening up a picture of my bare breasts
Girl. There is no more toilet paper. You should have seen the twerking I just did to shake the pee off.
Randomize
