Well you will be happy to know that aaron carter hit on me
you know how they say when you die, your whole life flashed before you? well do you get to see what happened all the nights you blacked out?
Is it weird I want to fuck the cartoon chick from e-surance??
Who has a video camera? i want to look back on this one day and say OH thats why i spent 2 years in jail
I dont know why the TSA people are looking at me wierd. I mean there is no way i am the only hungover college girl here with nine tally marks on her hand and last nights glitter on her face
I may be new to bar life, but full on grabbing my vag shouldn't happen...anywhere.
I've come to the conclusion while folding laundry and watching porn that I may be dead inside.
We kept trying to bring you to the hospital but you had a tantrum and kept saying you would never be Miss America
You cant use biscuit as a chaser
What kind of paramedic is he, some dude is dying back there and he's trying to get laid
We will walk in fields of dick.
You seriously need to stop quoting those songs when i'm with my parents.
dont know if she was trying to start a lawnmower or jerk me off. still wasnt to bad though
Oh god he’s a clown I fucked a rodeo clown
We had an argument over whether or not she had super strength. She settled it by dragging me to the bed room and throwing me on the bed. Then forcefully fucking me. She won the argument.
Hitting up all my dealers for my birthday grams is paying off
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