New channing tatum movie.
I'll bring my vibrator.
Puking in one of the stalls, a guy ran in and started puking in the other stall... In between heaves we told each other our names; i found out that it was my old best friend that moved away in the 8th grade
So, I picked up my 7 ft tall lamp post and used it to close my door. I feel quite accomplished.
Traded my phone for pizza, then got it back this morning....successful night
Things i learned at work today: do not put mayonaise on a tattoo, it will get infected.
Ugh. I guess I'm crying loudly or something. My mom just came in and gave me milk, chocolate, a Xanax, and her weed "for the break up blues". Her ways of affection are so odd.
I'M NOT READY TO BE AB ADULT YET!!!
You straight up wore me out. This should be a proud moment for you. It's almost like my penis is asking for a timeout. But not really
Congratulations on your downgrade, shes one hell of a 5
So how did it go?
I'm not sure if it was all the eggnog or all the alcohol, but hosting an eggnog pong tournament was a mistake.
I'm at the point in my life where I'm gonna sell my eggs for cash
Would I be crazy if I drove 1,000 miles for some dick? What mile does it become ridiculous?
I just want to bone him one last time before he moves across the country with his new (average looking) girl friend.
I suggest both. Please have sex with them and prepare notes for a final comparison.
So, I think my BF has slept with several of our sorority sisters
Well, now that you know, yes he has. We didn’t say anything because you seemed so happy. He’s a great guy and none of us have any hard feelings, but yeah, we’re all very familiar with his penis and it’s talents
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