So Ive decided I have serious issues. Im walking around the school with a bag labeled booze money collecting from people while slightly hungover at 8:20 in the morning, and nobody is questioning me.
I cant even remember his name or what he looked like. all I remember is what the tattoo on his forearm looked like.
well, he kindof looked like a walmart greeter. I tried to stop you
he just asked if we wanted to go to an arts and crats club with him tomorrow. every day it becomes harder for me to defend his sexuality
This is all my moms fault. She shouldn't have encouraged my weird fascinations as a child
I just got checked out by a paramedic whilst their sirens were on. I'm doing something right
who was wearing the fake mustache? I just found one in my cleavage
I have so much boob sweat I could bathe a baby
You were captain morganning on the laundry hamper and when I walked in you slingshotted a thong at me and started peeing. This all came back to me when I picked up some jeans to wear and they smelled like piss.
He thought my hair would soak it up. I HAD TO CUT IT OFF.
Let's say hypothetically if you were going to put icing on a penis and then lick it clean...what would you ice it with? Not a knife right?
WHY WOULD YOU SWIPE RIGHT???!!!!!
The same reason I ordered and ate almost an entire pizza last night
Don't worry dude, I've created a sex logic bomb to stop that sort of thing.
His eyefucking isn't even normal eyefucking; it's eye anal.
If I get my period the weekend your parents are gone i'm removing my uterus.
you tried to fight the cop who was busting the party, you said you had a constitutional right to do a keg stand...
Randomize
