Someone shit on the floor
So you refered to him as "monster dick"...not so much
Just threw up off a chairlift. my life is now complete.
Yea i'm supposed to have jury duty on monday. Hope they don't mind me still being drunk.
Na you can't get charged for public intoxication unless you're outside. I checked.
i was focused on more important things... like standing, and not spilling my beer
She sucked her thumb until she was 17. It's like my dick was born to be in her mouth.
That reminds me...we need to get swords
shes got that 'its my party i can do meth if i want to' mentality. i like that.
I got concerned once i realized you weren't there to hear us having sex. See I do worry about you.
Fixing to yell "you're too hot for her" at a Gerard butler look alike. There is absolutely no way this is going to end well...
There is a chick wearing some guy's shirt wrapped around her waist as a skirt... She's flashing her panties to everyone as she sings karaoke. You need to get here.
I just recorded myself pooping, then uploaded to google drive, then connected to my pc through teamviewer then downloaded it, then played it to the living room while still pooping. God I love the internet.
IDK I WAS CAUGHT UP IN THE TEQUILA SHOTS AND FRIENDSHIP
I think I'm dead. Also I think I stole $20 from a stripper.
You did. Then gave it to me.
Also I’m on 3%. Just Incase.. I miss you and I love you and you’re my everything and I’m getting drunk.
Randomize
