I either just heard my neighbors having sex or she really agreed with whatever he was talking about.
we need to drink 2009 down the drain
How long is the appropriate time period between a pregnancy scare and breaking up with my girlfriend?
jungle juice + heels + stairs = broken arm
Operation Purity has been aborted
do you think if she looks enough like a dude i have to come out to my parents?
I'm watching him slurp a whole mango out of her hand. It's disturbingly arousing.
So we reenacted men's olympic skeet shooting using roman candles and flattened beer cans. That's all
Found another bruise from Saturday #stopliquor2014
You're acting like you didn't chug fireball, like duh you have bruises you drunk betch
I also woke up in a guys bed in a Reptar shirt yesterday morning staring at a movie theater sized poster of the not as popular Air Bud franchise movie Super Buddies.
Im watching animal planet drunk, watching a documentary on mermaids. Tonight has not gone to waste.
I'm sitting at my kitchen table alone dressed as a dinosaur smoking bowls in the dark. Is this rock bottom? Or is this living the dream? Who's to say
I don't just want drugs. I deserve drugs.
I balled in the shower for 20 minutes, rolled up to the meeting late looking like a gremlin, and my one night stand was standing there in a suit
We broke into a construction site had sex on a scissor lift and realized it was a church...tomorrow again??
Randomize
