My grandmother just explained bulimia to me as a diet
She walked into class late sat down for 5 min muttered 'oh i cant do this' and walked out. She looked like death.
We should party with her soon
She brought up feelings... her days are numbered
I never want to hear the words 'my therapist says . . . ' while naked again.
Thats why you have fulfilling relationships with nice girls and i have kinky sex with crazies
Bring single women, or taken women who are unhappy with their relationships, or women who are happy with their relationships but have low moral standards, or women who just like to remove clothing when drunk (relationship status is unimportant for this option)
I called her 20 times. Apparently she went home to do MORE shots before bed. Didnt miss me until this morning. WHO FORGETS THEIR HIGHSCHOOL SISTER AT A FRAT?
So I dropped $130 while buying shots for an army ranger, got my fake taken, almost went to jail, and came out of my black out when I was talking to the cops with a stolen detour sign in my hands.
Trying to convince myself that everyone keeps staring at me because I'm pretty and not because of my hickies.
he was having a black light party and drinking manischewitz wine out of a three foot tall trophy he stole from mcdonald's...that's when I decided it was time to leave
Mimosa dick, like his cousin Whiskey dick, is just as ineffective but a lot more fun to be around
Dude I'm at a Marijuana dispensary party. They are giving away BAGS of edibles
How do you keep ending up in these situations?
My dad is their accountant
I'm still trying to figure out who shit on the coffee table. I have confirmed beyond a reasonable doubt that it wasn't me.
She had a toddler. It threw up and then some guy said party foul and put it on the porch. Going back next Friday.
The underwear in the garbage is clean. Just wipe the pizza sauce off
Randomize