East Village: Only place you can play pac man while eating a pineapple hotdog, go to the bar next door and see a graphic blowjob on every tv
If my vag had twitter, what do you think it would say?
He thanked me for being "his little blond pogo stick last night". Good thing?
the homeless guy was waiting for me this morning. this is the closest to a boyfriend ive had in years.
It's a special occasion. Hence the 151.
No, this is non-alcoholic oatmeal.
I have full custody of my vagina however you are granted visiting hours
He put himself in the friend zone by calling me dude all night so I blew his friend. Judge me.
Late night whataburger runs are great, except if you're the one that gets left black out drunk puking in the backyard drinking from the water hose
We HAVE another bedroom, it's not like I was gunna chain you into the closet. Often.
Dude fuck drugs. It's 4am and I'm eating mushroom ravioli fantasizing about jumping on a trampoline
I repeat do not go to a jail visit drunk, those stools are easy to fall off.
I think that maybe Alyssa may of had too much to drink. is it normal for her to straddle random people in quizno's?
He just stopped in the middle of undressing for sex to dip his slice of pizza in ranch. I think I’m in love.
I’M DRUNK AND EXCITED.
Randomize
