we were both hunting dick last night. it ended terribly for both of us.
Do they fuck in the end of "Lady and the Tramp" or am i just wasting my time
i rewarded my self with tacobell for not throwing up on any one. MISTAKE
of all the people in our graduating class, this is exactly who would get pregnant.
i swear, about 40% of my drunken life is spent having sex with him.
She dumped a fish bowl of alcohol on herself. Just like flash dance.
It's hard to take you serious when you're crying your eyes out wearing an adult sized onesie.
What's the sex policy on a school bus? Because I dibs back seat.
Sex allowed. Dress code is neon and obnoxious.
We are gonna die. I wanna enforce the "no jumping out of moving vehicles" policy. And how are we gonna get a school bus through mcdonalds drive thru?
Man, you got so high you own goaled yourself in FIFA then got up celebrating.
COME HERE AND I WILL SUCK YOUR COCK UNDER THE LIGHT OF THIS BEAUTIFUL ELECTRICITY
I need to get all the one night tinders in my system before I move back in with my parents
I'm sexting with a 20 year old that has a foot fetish... This is what Sailor Jerry drives me to do.
Just took an Adderall with Pedialyte so I think that's a valid answer to "how are you doing"
Omg my orgasm just made the fucking sun come out. Clearly my libido controls the weather now.
Btw I thought it was impossible to use up 48 bottles of patron in one night but I was wrong...
Randomize
