ok 1 i realized people actually live in central wisconsin and 2 culvers could be a good place to pick up chicks today
So I've decided that when I turn 50 and have to have a colonoscopy I'm going to leave a surprise for the doctor to find.
dude. she was texting with her nipple. I love touch screen phones!
Before I left in the morning I deleted her purity ring app off her iPod, I figured it would save her the shame
Fine. Just this once and because its veterans day will I send you a picture of my tits. You're lucky I love this country.
Actually considered writing down one of the numbers on the bathroom stall. That's how much I miss vagina.
What's bad is when she said "what hobo did you steal this dick from?"
He tied my whole arm, in its cast, to the headboard first. He mumbled something about safe, sane, and consensual?
You chucked an empty vodka bottle against the wall and yelled "Everyone calm the fuck down, it's just the cops." After 10 seconds of silence I looked over and saw you pissing their fountain.
Happy Birhtday!
Dad, it's 3am and it's not my birthday... wherever you are, go home
That's the last time I send a mass text invitation to smoke a blunt
As I was about to fuck him, he requested a moment of silence for Leonard Nimoy.
He painted a swimsuit on me. Naked day at the lake was a success.
I'm glad you had fun with your genitals.
Been smoking since 4. The inevitable finally happened: I bought a cheesecake.
Randomize
