the last time I saw her she was leaving the mens bathroom and club rush with her dress inside out. typical tease.
the best things in life are free. have that freshly fucked look and doing the walk of shame by HIS girlfriend.....priceless
ya i vaguely remember microwaving a whole package of bacon for 20 minutes or so and then eating it all around 4am
Ridin mah bike see you on the moon
if you could put a roof over IU campus it would be the biggest whorehouse in the nation
thanks for paying me in special brownies...but brownies dont pay the rent...anymore.
I had to explain to my dentist that my tooth was chipped because we designated my mouth as the official way to open beer. I feel like our level of partying is no longer socially acceptable.
I seriously told a stripper I would hold her hand when she goes to get ass implants.
Haha, maybe if he wasn't dressed up like Kimmy Gibler he could give her the D
Welcome to a new world. May the gods of weed smile upon you as you embark on exploring this new dimension.
Is it too early to get staydrunk at 1pm on Friday for Monday's St Patty's day
My stuff that was at your place last night smells like doughnuts. I'm not even mad.
I need to stop waking up with no pants on.
what happened this time
I dont know everyone was gone and there was a bird in the room
Bruh, I wanna absorb into the deck.
I wanna become a plank.
God I love xanex.
Very mixed signals tonight. He gave me the best handjob while gloating about the Superbowl to his dad on the phone. When he was done he left me on the sofa alone for ten minutes before returning with wet wipes beer and nachos.
Randomize