Boner jamz table deep. plus bar deep. wiing waing.
I would wrestle an alligator for a bj right now
It smelt so bad when i tried biting off her underwear that i didn't want to touch with my mouth
You stole her bday cake and shared it with drunk strangers on the street.
Actually considered writing down one of the numbers on the bathroom stall. That's how much I miss vagina.
Bitch looked at my dick and said "I thought they called you horsecock, I'm already disappointed"
I told you that line would get her home never said it was a good idea
Ive been thinking this might sound random.. But we need a piano in our house next year specifically for railing chicks on it.
So wise, so handsome, so good at oral sex.
Get drunk. Masturbate to his picture. Fall asleep. Repeat. Fuck summer.
Peanut butter fills the cracks of my heart
she pointed to my dick and said you are going to save the world
In the last 3 weeks my drunken adventures have caused me to lose 2 credit cards, one debit card, a bracelet, two purses, and my $500 phone... Maybe i should quit drinking.
Hhhaaa He said Peanutburter disinfect lol. Like peanut butter can disinfect stuff. None of those guys are safe
I called to inform you I may or may not be getting laid tonight ...
scale of one to ten how loathsome is it to save my chocolate easter bunny to use for a topping on my edibles
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