Oh please. You given/recieved a handjob out in public. I think that shy ship has sailed.
Dude with the Beatles haircut just got his pilots license and wants to take us up to do a case race mid flight. Don't tell me networking is unnecessary.
His dad asked what he was doing so he texted his FATHER a picture of me wearing his shirt in his bed.
Is it bad that I see a party full of girls I know he has fucked as a challenge for me to be the one who ends up in his bed?
My vag is like the Sahara
Ew that's gross.
The sad truth. Barren and empty.
Jenna, I'm going to use all my homosexual powers to steal him from you
Austin, I will climb on top of your shoulders and slowly suffocate you with my vagina
And also the fact that I woke up sandwiched between two gay men is probably fueling my day
What part of don't open in front of your kids didn't you understand? Astroglide, magnums, fuzzy handcuffs and a blindfold are going to be hard to explain as friends presents.
I sent him a tit pic on accident and he replied with "nice ass"
I'll truly miss your penis but your use of words and phrases such as bae, yolo, swag, and totes have ruined how attractive you once were.
Remember earlier when I was excited about finding that birth control pill in my purse? Definitely acid.
danced like there was no tomorrow. surprise. there's a tomorrow
I literally just told you I found out I masturbate in my sleep. I think we can be snapchat friends again
You have to just make a conscious effort not to make out with people when he's around if you want to keep him in your life?
All she said was "Do me by Friday."
Randomize
