Hows this for an invention: a toilet that weighs your poop
I wish everyone could be as happy as the people in the laxative commercials.
i can't find my house
we droppd you off right in front! i even walked you to the steps less then 3 mins ago.
i'm pretty sure my house moved.
You know, be my cock's hype man.
PRINCE HARRY WAS AT WAL MART SO NEXT TIME YOU BITCH ABOUT GOING TO WAL MART REMEMBER THAT EVEN PRINCE HARRY GOES TO WAL MART.
He handled me like a finger puppet on crack... Time to ice the vagina, I'd like to sit down sometime today.
Mistake of the day: loudly discussing my gay hookups on the phone at the dmv in upstate NY... this must be what leprosy feels like
Can't decide if I want to watch full house or the fleet wood Mac concert during the presidential debate.
Pretty sure that molly fried my sinus infection away; i regret nothing
Biggg time. I found 2 empty packages of extenze in my car this am.... not sure what that was all about
You can not love someone based on who they were when they were 9. Does he know how many dicks I've sucked since then?
Pretty sure my first birthday present will be a pic of an 18-year-old's cock. And I am OK with that
Watching Supernatural does more for me sexually than the physical encounters with 90% of the men in my life.
Wait I can't come yet Mr. Brightside is playing
ok i defs just took my shirt off in the middle of a frat party though so keep me updated
Just puked most of my soul out..
Randomize
