She's hot, in a Megan Fox with Down's Syndrome kinda way. Like, she'd win Miss Deliverance Pageant
At least she's the hottest one. Oh well, it's all about stats
it really sends the message that i like to impregnate mortal women and have them birth fantastic half man-half god infants.
dude ... she has a full length mirror in her shower, don't even tell me shes not dtf
She looked at me and said there is a 90% chance I am going to puke in the next 10 minutes. 10 minutes later she is in jack in the box throwing up. She has amazing timing.
If you try to operate on me with a Bic pen and vodka, I'm never talking to you again
You are so lucky that drugs are going to kill you before I do.
Just recreated a sandwich from the caf in my own kitchen. Graduation denial at it's finest.
WHAT KIND OF SELF RESPECTING 28 YEAR OLD WOMAN WAKES UP IN A FRAT HOUSE?!?'
The cougar kind?
If it makes you feel any better, I'm eating a block of cheese...
His buddy came running in the room after we had sex, and started "sponging" the sweat off my forehead with his sport wristband.
yeah I had to wear a fucking diaper from work home so I didn't get the shitty squirts all over my cars seats it was fucked
On a scale from 1-10 how wrong is it to request "I Hit It First" at my ex's wedding reception?
Definite 12.2 but worth it.
I slept with my wedding DJ..... I think this means my life has come full circle
I just got a snapchat of a flaccid penis with the caption "happy belated valentine's day." What did I do to deserve this
I love friends. Friendship is wonderful. I wish the rain was my friend
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