He's still on the phone with him. This is unnatural. Dudes don't call other dudes just to talk.
he told me I talked like a deaf person
wanna get hammered and throw tomatoes at the people standing in line for the midnight showing of harry potter and yell whichcraft is evil
Thanks for gettin' me home, killa. Have no IDEA how I woke up pants-less on the bathroom floor at 4a.m. You're like a big, angry guardian angel.
They're re-releasing Titanic in 3-D. Can I interest you in a joint venture to create the greatest drinking game of all time? I think yes
But seriously he was like a god with his hands. My vagina feels annointed.
You don't know how much I love you. You could play Careless Whisper while we have sex and I'd still love you
MILK DIDN'T HELP. IT'S NOT HELPING
I'm trying to find some better sex background music so his neighbors don't hate us. This is tedious.
Well, I wish you luck on finding out who your boyfriend is
I wish I may, I wish I might, get some daddy dick tonight
I wet willied a stranger last night didn’t I?
Had a dick customer and the words "eat my ass" slipped out. He proceeded to lick his lips and say present it. I think it's time I quit.
They made Game of Thrones Oreos. Kill me.
I'm sorry, but if I hear stories of you getting fingered in the ass, and selling weed, you are not coming to my party.
Randomize
