Are you drinking alone?
no, i'm watching house
That doesn't count.
wtf, then i'm always alone
It only happened twice. Once we used extra virgin olive oil and once I used saliva and brute force.
Is licking assholes a new fad or something?
the only difference between me and a prostitute was that i complained a lot more.
she would be the type to have more hair on her twat than on her head
she has to be all "alternative"
she's on the floor slapping my dogs face with slices of pizza
Having skype sex with him in the lounge at 1:45am...THIS IS WHAT HE DOES TO ME
This is the first time since last march I'm gonna be going to a class for more reasons than wanting to bone the girl sitting next to me.
We all told you to throw up but you just stuck your head in the toilet and screamed..
Ya bro it was wild. Hey, is latex digestible?
We found him in the neighbors shed using a bicycle as a blanket. We just left him there.
Just to circumvent as much mood-killing as possible, you are allowed a small amount of laughter at my pubic hair. Too much and I revoke your vagina privileges until you can get your shit together.
Hey where the fuck is the rest of my beer? Lets start this day off right
So the day after the 4th I'm sitting here drinking Molson and watching NHL free agent frenzy. From patriotic American to drunken Canadian in 24 hours flat. Booyah.
maybe you should have closed the porn before you gave the professor your computer to hook up to the projector?
Randomize
