based on who turned up here tonight the whole evening should just be called "mistakes i made when i was fat"
she wants me to text her or call her all the time when we are apart...this is not high school...
I mean we've tried to get high on nutmeg, we clearly dont know the definition of "too far"
Do you know how difficult it is to give head to someone who's imitating Forrest Gump?
I'm so prepared to puke on walk of shame tomorrow that I'm putting a toothbrush and toothpaste in my purse the night before. And to think, my dad thought I wouldn't make it in college.
Only you two could pull off a partner swap with honeymooners
Who wrote "the chamber of secrets has been open, enemies of the heir beware" across my bathroom wall?
theres too many punctuation errors in that text to turn me on.
All of my Tinder matches have neck tattoos. It's like God wants me to go to jail again.
i'm just really offended he didn't want to have breakup sex. like that was the only thing i was really looking forward to
this makes me concerned. not enough to actually do anything about it, but yeah.
FUCK the WHO, FUCK cancer, I'm gonna eat fucking bacon.
He told me was "pretty like the wife in some movie where the husband is a cheater." I think I'm gonna fuck him.
sarahs drunk and is drawing dinosaurs all over the apartment. should i stop her?
whats she drawing them with?
eyeliner
no that's ok
Something in me snapped and now I’m just googling famous vegans.
Randomize
