Granted, we were all high and wasted, but the fact that she thought we couldn't see her making out with the charles in charge lookalike bc she was holding up a pillow in front of them is a little ridiculous
Did he look more like 80s Charles in Charge or the old one that had that VH1 show? It makes a difference.
I convinced her san diego was a state. all the proof I needed was saying, why do they call it san diego state university?
so my 6 year old came home from school and asked me if he was a bastard cause the kids at school called him one, i told him to call them a clit. those parents will hate me
Just found out for my occult lit class (history of cults) final project is making a spellbook. Hello last term of college.
i spelled "betch" that way on purpose, don't question my abilities as a drunk texter
I found a picture of my kindergarten class. Now you can see whose peer pressure I succumbed to.
you're surprised the chick that fucked you for a free cup has herpes. i don't feel bad for you.
just lying in bed drinking beer with a straw waiting for motivation. why?
Does it count if I'm only ambidextrous while masturbating?
Question: what's the protocol for seeing your mistress walking alongside her clueless boyfriend? If you could answer this ten minutes ago, that'd be great.
He called me at 4am to ask me to marry him, then threw up into the phone for 10 minutes.
That happens a lot to the people around me. It's like I'm radioactive but instead of cancer, you get desensitized to the word cunt
I finished OITNB and broke it off with my fuck buddy in the same day. It's going to be a rough week
Who died my cat blue again?
looked it up online and zoo tickets are only 20 bucks and there's also a museum of science close to the hotel.
i'm not going to a FUCKING museum. i want to be wasted and possibly double penetrated... have you EVER been on vacation?
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